Divorce

 My final blog post is going to be on divorce and how it effects people. Now I don’t know how qualified I am to talk about this because I am unmarried and my parents have never divorced, but because I want to go into the therapy field, I figured I’d talk about it. Divorce is not an inherently evil thing, in fact in some cases I think it’s necessary. In cases like domestic abuse, I don’t think therapy is going to fix a majority of that problem and the other person may have no other choice but to leave. My grandparents on both sides of my family have considered divorce, each for their own reasons. One of my grandparents filed for divorce a little over a year ago, he ended up living with us during the entire process and I don’t blame him. I won’t get into their business, but they didn’t have a happy marriage even when my mom was a kid. I think that for them it was necessary, due to some mental illness, I believe it was only a matter of time. Mental illness can play a huge factor in a successful marriage. If left untreated, it can cause a person to rapidly decline in their condition. As a person who has dealt with mental illness for most of their life, I can say with full confidence that being mentally ill is not an excuse to hurt someone. Mental illness may explain someone’s actions but it cannot excuse behavior. If your partner is not abusive, I think it is possible to save the marriage. In most cases of conflict in a relationship, there is usually a lack of communication on one or both sides. A good way to overcome this is to calmly explain what your needs and desires are and to give that person respect in the argument. Most couples after seeking marriage therapy improve dramatically. But to avoid the topic of divorce in your marriage all together, you need to be prepared for conflict and arguments. Both of you need to sit down and have a proper discussion with each other about what bothers you, what you want changed, and how you yourself can improve. I think a good rule of thumb is to talk with your partner once a month about these things. This way when there is true conflict, you can address it together.